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Highlight of the week

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Celebrities on steroids Paris takes too much time on her makeup, Britney doesn’t give a dime about how she looks... continue

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JOKE OF THE DAYSee all

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Canada has a warship? I’ve read this joke a long time ago,... continue

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What to write on your first post

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Writing any article is not easy as it sounds. Moreover, when it is the first one to write about. It’s the question that any business, that begins blogging, will have to answer. What should your first post be all about? Its exciting enough to get this whole system up and running. But without any interesting content, who will actually read, or better, pay tribute?

The first thing any writer should do, is to put themselves in the shoes of the viewer. 

Writing your first post, is like entering a room full of strangers. With each person, you would want to go around and introduce yourself. By the end of the night, you would have wanted 99%, if not everyone, to have met you. So here goes.

Livethenews.come is a web publication online that focuses on current global news, covering topics of popular culture. We provide news in several categories including finance, politics, celebrities, internet, technology, movies, user contributed articles, and many others.

Everyday is a new day. With that, something new is bound to happen. And when it does, we would like to be the first to publish the news to you. We try at least.

Our articles are updated daily and we a comments section for users, like you, to contribute their thoughts.

Additionally, if you would like to contact us, please see our Contact page for more details. Our About page, on the other hand, offers a Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) section for viewers to get to know us better.

Thank you for reading. We hope to see you again, soon!



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How much do top tier bloggers and social media consultants get paid?

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Makes for an interesting read for anyone who has a passion for blogging. After all, its been close to 9 years since the age of blogging began, according to NPR. which has raked thousands of individuals to explore the savvy web of blogging.

Read Write Web published a set of results that they managed to gather from top tier tech bloggers and social media consultants. These type of bloggers are not your average internet Joe. They are a handful of people who possess the heart and thrill for writing. Truth be told, only a few are lucky enough to do what they love for a living, err I mean, land the opportunity of a lifetime.

According to the survey, most people, the ones above the average line, were earning $10 USD per post. Mind you, very short posts. Almost everyone else, were landing a good $25 per per post.

On the other hand, in-house / full-time bloggers could earn up to annual pay rates of $45k - $55k with benefits and up to $70k - 90k worth of bonuses.

Surely, theres lots of money to be made in this industry. However, the big money earners were on the consulting side. The same survey gathered that one could earn a $300 per hour rate, on average and monthly rates of $2k - $4k. Social media consulting is probably making a fair number of people happy with a six figure pay check.



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Borats birthday!

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Cemedian Sacha Baron Cohen, turned 37 today! Creator of Borat and the upcoming movie about fashion which is centered on a flamboyant alter ego named Bruno.

Borat, a number 1 US box office hit in 2006 taking in $26.4 million, is about a fictional Kazakh journalist and his odyssey across the United States. Stirring up controversy with some, and very amusing to others, the movie has gathered generally rave reviews. In the weeks leading up the release of Borat, Universal Pictures has struck a deal with Cohen to bring up his fashionista character, Bruno, to the big screen. The film is rumoured to be for $42 million.



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50 beautiful movie posters

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Movie posters are art and, unfortunately, the forgotten one. In the early years of cinema history, they were used just like advertising material. Displayed in theatres only, movie posters had the same function as a menu in a restaurant: what feast can I enjoy this evening? Nowadays, movie posters play a big role in cinema memorabilia collection. They have lost the “informative” tone to wear a more artistic and decorative dress. We want to change it with this post.

Smashing magazine put together an interesting showcase of 50 beautiful movie posters.

Using a picture of Uma Thurman on a bed with a smoke. Priceless!
The Planet of the Apes poster looks like an 80’s collage that I would gladly put up in a guest room next to the poker set.



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High maintenance pets

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Anyone else concerned about the high cost of keeping pets? And even more alarming are the weird things for sale targeted towards pet owners. Check out the Dog Bikini, and the Luxury Velvet Dog Dress.

Then there are Dog Booties and shoes to protect your pampered pooch from “road chemicals, lawn treatments, and salt” Salt?

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What it takes to be a man?

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Every woman needs a man. Or perhaps, even a man needs a man. And with that, every man should know how to cook roast chicken. Cooking, you see is a valuable asset that your dates, your wallet and your health will thank you for again and again. A home prepared meal, even mediocre never ceases to impress and makes any man a popular and attractive idol.

Unfortunately, this was the case with the former Mr Gay UK (that ryhmes) who reportedly stabbed a buddy to death before seasoning his flesh with herbs and frying it in olive oil, The Sun reports.

His barrister Robert Smith QC admitted Morley cut Mr Oldfield’s throat and seasoned parts of the body - “cooking and sampling a section by chewing”.

On the other side. I dont think anyone would disagree if every man was made like Ari Gold from the Entrourage:



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Joke of the day: A little boy was doing his maths homework

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A little boy was doing his maths homework.

He said to himself,
“Two plus five, the son of a bitc… is seven.
Three plus six, the son of a bitc… is nine...”

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, “What are you doing?”
The little boy answered, “I’m doing my maths homework, Mom.”
“And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?” the mother asked.
“Yes,” he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, “What are you
teaching my son in maths?”
The teacher replied, “Right now, we are learning addition.”
The mother asked, “And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the sonof a bitc… is four?”

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, “What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.”



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Corvette limited edition sport-v boat

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Now, if you thought you had everything. Wouldnt you want to add this to your collection? The Corvette limited edition sport-v boat is sleek in design and busty in performance. Its not exactly something I would turn up in the Oscars with (I know James Bond would), but its definitely the ride I would take on an ocean cruise right before a fancy party at one of Paris HIlton’s gathering.



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Beer in America

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Heres a fact that will put you in awe. Did you know that all beer consumed in the US each year could fill a keg 1429’ tall and 870 wide, weighing up to 66 billion lbs? And thats including the barrel. Sheesh kebab! What that really translates to is that this keg would be massively taller than the Statue of Liberty.

Here are a few other facts to highlight, as noted at Sloshspot:

Us brewiers use 6 billion pounds of grain each year, enough to feed 43 million hungry people in developing nations

If all the beer consumed in the US in one year were in beer cans, stacked on on top of another, it could reach the moon. 20 times

The United States loves beer and drinks more than 50 billion pints each year

If all the beer consumed in the US were sold at your local pub for the average US pint price of $3.87, it would cost 196 billion dollars or the GDP of Columbia



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The Boryeong Mud Festival 2008

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The Boryeong Mud Festival takes place every summer in Boryeong, South Korea. Not your typical mud slosh and party. The mud is actually dug up near Boryeong and trucked to the Daecheon beach area. The mud is considered rich in minerals and used to manufacture cosmetics.

The first Mud Festival was organised in 1998 and, by 2006 attracted 1.5 million visitors. In 2008 the festival took place between 12-20 July.

And its everywhere! What better to enjoy a weekend full of bikini’s, wrestling, rather bikini wrestling, mud races, mud slides, concerts and finally a healthy and theraputic substance that you can rub on the whole day.

The blackish mud is rich in minerals such as germanium and bentonite (which are highly effective in preventing wrinkles in teh skin). When youv’e had enough of the muddy engagement, free public showers were available for a clean rinse off. Be aware, though: anyone caught walking the streets looking clean risks being thrown back in the mud jail!



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World Bodypainting Festival 2008

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Almost naked art. The World Bodypainting Festival comes to Asia. Daegu in South Korea is playing host to this event. The festival began in 1996 in Austria and held every year in Seeboden and has expanded to Asia for the first time.



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Angelina Jolie admits she and Brad Pitt fell in love while he was married to Jennifer Aniston

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Angelina Jolie has admitted that she and Brad Pitt fell in love while he was still married to Jennifer Aniston. Hollywood’s most glamorous couple have always stressed that they only fell for one another AFTER Brad had split from the Friends star.

But Jolie has now confessed that they found love on the set of Mr and Mrs Smith in 2004, when rumours of romance first emerged but long before Brad’s break-up.

The Daily Mail reports.


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iGoogle 2.0

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Who doesn’t use Google? Google finally rolled out a new version of iGoogle. And whats more convenient than to have everything all in one place: mail, weather, stocks, rss feeds, image albums, news, and more.

iGoogle 2.0 adds adds a canvas view (experimenting over a month) that allows gadgets to become full-fledged applications, which allows any user to jump from one canvas to another on a single click.

See what new gadgets you can add for your iGoogle homepage, at: iGoogle gadgets



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The Sun

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21 Amazing sun photos and description at boston.com

The Sun is now in the quietest phase of its 11-year activity cycle, the solar minimum - in fact, it has been unusually quiet this year - with over 200 days so far with no observed sunspots. The solar wind has also dropped to its lowest levels in 50 years. Scientists are unsure of the significance of this unusual calm, but are continually monitoring our closest star with an array of telescopes and satellites. Seen below are some recent images of the Sun in more active times.



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Beware of retirement plans

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Whatever your investment goals were, you’re screwed.

With the market crisis making headlines everywhere, I want to put my head in and fingers in my ears while singing “lalalala”. Im pretty sure everybody not sure on what to make of all the media madness thats currently happening. The financial crisis, do you feel it? Or is this media spin that understates the gravity of the situation.

Heres a good tip I found on how to deal with the current financial environment:



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The Blackbird

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The Blackbird is an advanced long range Mach3 strategic reconnaissance aircraft. A key feature on the aircraft was its defensive mechanism. If a surface-to-air missile engaged it, the standard evasive action was to simply boost its engines accelerating it to top speed and altitude, faster than the missile itself.

The design of the Blackbird led to one of the first aircrafts shaped to reduce radar detectability. More evidently are the Blackbirds chines, which are sharp on the edges leading back to the left and right of the nose and along the sides of the fuselage. 



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Airliner had near miss with UFO

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The captain of the Alitalia airliner shouted “Look out” to his co-pilot at the sight of a brown missile-shaped object shooting past them overhead.

A passenger jet heading for Heathrow Airpord barely collided with a UFO, according to the Ministry of Defense files reveal.

Civil Aviation Authority and military investigations could not explain the 1991 incident near Lydd in Kent. This was one of the few unresolved close encounter feutures in UFO-related military documents. 19 similar files will be made available online by the MoD and 200 such files over the next 4 years.

And the files also contain a letter from a woman claiming to be from the Sirius system who said her spacecraft - also containing two “Spectrans” with “Mr Spock ears” - crashed in Britain during World War II.

The BBC reports.



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The 2008 Stars of October

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This October, we hand pick the finest apples from the tree.

We love these celebrities and why:

Natalie Portman is a Harvard grad, strong personality, sexy in Closer and who better could have played Queen Amidala in Star Wars? She often portrays characters that are rather smart, mature, and grown up for their age. My buck goes to any girl who can shave her head, as she has done so cleanly in the movie V for Vendetta.

Scarlett Johansson if she had a nickname it would be perky lips or baby eyes. Shes Sagittarius, so she must be playful by heart. If she was my girl-friend, she would not have to say a thing. I would just be Lost in Translation with her busty curves.

Hayden Panettiere plays Claire Bennet in Heroes. This Hollywood rising star, has definitely got some talent. Her last name is pronounced “Pan-Uh-Tee-Air-Ee”; the Italian translation is “Baker”.

Jessica Biel has hazel eyes and brown hair. Is an amateur photographer who collects vintage glasses with no lenses. A former vegetarian and her last name rhymes with “Deal”.

Charlize Theron is athletic, long legs and very flexible. Shes sexy and sophisticated. Dyed her hair black for Aeon Flux and looked amazingly hot in her tight super hero suit. She earns $2 million per year endorsing Dior’s J’Adore fragrance as well as $2.5 million per year endorsing Swiss Watch-maker, Raymond Weil.



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Bikini wash in Auckland, New Zealand

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Heres a good post to start your Thursday morning.

Have your bikes washed for free by “professionals”. Not too sure what their profession was though…

Heres the math. Each girl does about 20% of the cleaning. 40% of the time, each girl will spend infront of the camera. Now, if you were one of the lucky owners to have your biked washed, and were assigned 4 girls, this means it goes to about 80% clean.

Oh well, it was free and that sure beats doing it yourself.



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Joke of the day: Two statues in the park

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There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, ‘As a reward for being so patient through a hundred blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty minutes to do what you’ve wished to do the most.’

He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the shrubs and bushes. The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues. After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing.

The angel tells them, ‘Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to do it again?’

He asks her ‘Shall we?’ She eagerly replies, ‘Oh, yes, let ‘s! But let’s change positions. This time, I’ll hold the pigeon down and you **** on its head.’



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The $360bn credit default swaps time bomb from Lehman

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Things are getting worst for the world economy as the market holds its breath on a new time bomb: CDS, also known as credit default swap. With the collapse of Lehman Brothers, the expected payout is about $400bn. However, it is still very unclear who will be held liable since these contracts were sold many times over through different counterparties.

Five years ago Warren Buffett, the iconic American investor, warned that the chaotic profusion of derivatives used by companies and hedge funds to fund financial growth were “financial weapons of mass destruction.”

The Telegraph mentions.



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New terms for the Stock Market

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CEO Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFOCorporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets no s*x.

VALUE INVESTING The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS What you jump out of when you’re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR Past year investor who’s now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT An archaic word no longer in use.



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Top 8 Baywatch Babes Of All Time

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It’s the show which launched Pamela Anderson’s career and got The Hoff back on to our screens - but Baywatch wasn’t all bad.

Oh, and there and there was some blokes in it too. But we seriously can’t remember any of them - apart from The Hoff that is. But which Baywatch babe was the best? Who looked the hottest in the red swimsuit?

At hecklerspray.



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Actors and Actress’ who should have kept their faces in one piece

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Some actors just go over the top and in my eyes, the opposite occurs.  Instead of looking younger or better, they just keep getting further from the original faces that shined so brightly in days past.

Here they are at Uncoached.



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Shocking pictures reveals stallions fight to the death!

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The crowd cheer and laugh - the object of their excitement a bloodied stallion kicked so brutally by another that its eyeballs have been dislodged from their sockets.

The shocking photos show the sport in all its barbarity, in the three day event in the Mindanao islands, in the Philippines.

These fighting rings, however, force the horses together in an artificial situation where they don’t have the option of backing down and literally have to fight for their lives.

The Sun reports.



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Light weight BABY!!1!ONE!!

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All those endless hours you spend in the gym, in between drinking soy chai lattes, are not only ineffective in helping you get the ladies but an excuse so that you can immerse yourself in the smell of musky crotches of other men. It’s also dangerous to your health.



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Like OMG! I’m gonna vote for Obama

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So like me and amber were waiting at ‘bucks drinking our soy chai mocha fraps, having spent the whole day shopping we were in some serious need of some down time. then justin comes alone, he think he’s so cool because he reads books and things… nah-ah! whatever, anyway he then ask about some election and whether we were gonna vote. like omg! do i look like the kinda person who would shrug my social responsibility?? of course i voted for britney’s new single on trl.

after watching this, i’m totally behind obama and not because everyone says i look like obama girl. whatever!! anyway, black is so this season.


also thinking about voting and my friend jen, if by ‘voting’ you actually meant ‘sex’ and by ‘telling’ you meant ‘putting out’.... it would kinda explain how the whole football team got herpes last season.



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Madonna is the new favourite to be the next manager of Tottenham Hotspur…

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She’s managed to keep clean sheets for the last 18 months.



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Babe vs Babe: Golf booth versus E3 booth babes

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This weeks babe versus babe. Rather Babes versus Babes. Your golf booth representatives against your E3 booth ladies.

The rules. Select who is hotter, cast your vote in the comments section.



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Female cell mate begs Foxy Knoxy for sex

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The Daily Mail reports murder suspect Amanda Knox reveals that her cell mate begged her for sex, because she is pretty.

Amanda Knox, who is 21, was a prime suspect in a brutal murder of Meredith Kercher, a British student also 21.

Earlier this year Knox revealed in her diary how a warder at the prison had also begged her for sex.

However she also complained of how her fingernails were broken and her hands worn because: ‘Rosa makes me clean the cell the whole time.

There are 3 suspects involved in this case. All 3 will be decided whether they should stand trial for the murder early next week.



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Joke of the day: Bill and Bob at the clinic

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Bill and Bob, two children, were sitting outside a clinic. Bill happened to be crying very loudly.

“Why are you crying?” Bob asked.

“I came here for a blood test,” sobbed Bill.

“So? Are you afraid?”

“No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.

As Bob heard this, he immediately began crying profusely.

Astonished, Bill stopped his tears and asked Bob, “Why are you crying now?”

To which Bob replied, “I came for a urine test!”



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Do not use the ‘R-word’

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The BBC is facing claims that it is avoiding using the ‘R-word’ - recession - to avoid being too depressing about the gloomy situation.
BBC reporters have allegedly been encouraged to use the word ‘downturn’ to avoid making viewers anxious about the economy

What about ‘FFS’? as in FFS lets get with the program. Theres no plausible deniability that we are in a major crisis. We arent kidding anyone. Id say use the R-word, and throw in a couple of F-words in with it.



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Great photos from the Toronto Air Show 2008

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The Canadian International Air Show has been happening in Toronto since 1949. The show will feature the Canadian Forces Snowbirds, a CF-18 Hornet, Canadian Harvard Aerobatic Team, Royal Canadian Air Cadets, F-16 Viper East team, a C-130, 4 T-38 Talons, a Eurocopter AS-350 and the Ministry of Natural Resources Waterbombers which are huge plains used to put out fires.

Check out the photos.



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Laser beam spy cameras used on war on terrorism

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A laser that can scan a crowd and identify people who have been handling explosives is being secretly tested at British airports and railway stations.

No bigger than a shoe box and can be used by police and MI5 agents to track terrorists, pick out suspects in large crowds, and detect explosive residue in their clothing and luggage.

The Daily Mail reports that the weapon is still being secretly tested at British airports and railway stations.



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Photos of Bono partying with two lovely teenagers. What will wife say?

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Pictures show the 48-year-old with his arm round two bikini-clad girls as they carouse at a beach bar in St Tropez. He also joined his angel-faced companions for more drinking and dancing aboard a private yacht.

Bono and his friend Simon Carmody party with two lovely teenagers. The Irishmen met up with two 19-year-olds, American fashion student Andrea Feick and her British friend Hannah Emerson, in the playboys’ playground of St Tropez.

The images show Bono wearing his trademark hat and sunglasses while drinking cocktails with the two girls at the Nikki Beach bar in St Tropez, famous for its ‘champagne battles’ where guests spray fizz at each other.
They made their way to a luxury yacht - thought to be the Cyan, a £12million, 140ft yacht with six cabins, owned by U2 guitarist The Edge.



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Kelly Brook in wet T-shirt shock

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After the death of her father and her break-up with Billy Zane, Kelly Brook just wanted to enjoy life as a single girl. But then she met a special man…

Interview and photographs at: Fabulousmag



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A new supersonic jet

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An American firm is on the cusp of re-imagining the supersonic dream and confidently plans to have supersonic commercial aircraft back in the skies as a reality by 2015.

The jet will enable passengers to fly from London to New York in just under 3 hours. A big reduction in flight time of 40%. Each jet will cost an approximate £47.5million and the ability to fly at the speed of sound, at mach 1.15 without emanating a sonic boom or significant noise impact.

Doing the math. 3 hours from London is great, and then you can waith 3 more days to collect your luggage at Kennedy airport. *grins*



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Erase traumatic memories

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Scientists say they are able to erase painful memories, paving the way for new treatments of debilitating phobias and stress disorders. Like in the film Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, scientists could soon be able to wipe unwanted memories from our minds.

Neurobiologists from the Georgia College of Medicine found they could selectively eliminate memories in mice, without damaging their brains in the process. However, the researchers said wiping should only be used for traumatic memories. ‘While memories are great teachers and obviously crucial for survival and adaptation, selectively removing incapacitating memories, such as traumatic war memories or an unwanted fear, could help many people live better lives,’ leader researcher Dr Joe Tsien said in the journal Neuron.
U.S researchers say the technique could be useful treating incapacitating memories, such as war trauma



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Hugh Hefner is bankrupt?

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Tycoon hugh Hefner may have to cut back on staff in his Los Angeles and New York offices, given the global economic turmoil, with its shares falling from £6.20 to £1.55.

The news will be another blow to Hefner who recently discovered that two of his “bunnies” may have been cheating on him.

Rumours have escalated that Holly Madison, Hefner’s no.1 girlfriend, has had an affair with magician Criss Angel, and another playboy bunny, Kendra Wilkinson, reportedly dating Hank Baskett, a football star.

Playboy spokesman Rob Hillburger denied the rumours.



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Photos of Britains best Holloween breaks

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Visit some of Britains scariest places, including: Oxford Castle’s notorious prison, Derby Guild Hall, Pendennis Castle, 12th-century Dover Castle, and more.

The truly intrepid should head for Oxford Castle, where a range of events allows visitors to explore the history of the city’s most haunted building

In Victorian times, Oxford Castle became known as a notorious prison, where hangings were carried out in the courtyard

See all the photos at: The Telegraph



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What youve probably missed: 100% Tuning in Belgium 2007

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Naturally, the basic ingredients are still supercars and lovely ladies. The fair also featured several DJs, rappers, bands, mini-bike stunts, the Fuel Babes from London and a handful of celebrities from all over Europe. Its everything from sports cars, car tuning and car hifi.

During the fair, a car was also pimped live by GO-EZ (from Los Angeles) using grinding discs, welding equipment and so on. In addition, Jose Lopez (Los Angeles), regarded by many as the best tattoo artist in the world, honoured the fair with his appearance. The Fuel Babes from London kept things hot during the fair with their sensational dance acts.



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So outrageous, it’s just GAY!!1!!ONE!

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Like omg, the Telegraph reports ‘Malaysian women have been banned from “tom-boyism” and lesbian sexual relations in a fatwa from one of the country’s top religious authorities.’

National Fug-ugly Council, Abdul Shukor Husin, remarks “It is unacceptable to see women who love the [fashion] lifestyle including dressing in the clothes men wear.” Like why not outlaw being fashionable completely? Anyone knows the whole asexual thing is in, with women looking like boys and men looking as masculine as prepubescent girls. As for the ‘lesbian sex’, everyone knows it doesn’t really count. Hell-urh… haven’t you heard of girls’ boarding school and slumber parties?

In the words of Kate Perry (who looked fantastic in that outfit last night)....

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chap stick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don’t mean I’m in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

Maybe this is an attempt to outlaw fashion or political opposition, but which ever it is… it’s not cool, its just so gay!



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It’s a great time to invest

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Is it Halloween already?

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Maybe someone would be good enough to mention it to Miley Cyrus, who was in Germany on Monday promoting her new album (which is sure to be a timeless classic of artistic creativity… good to know that Al-Qaeda’s jihad is being countered by the continuing conveyor belt of talentless, pubescent pop music. If only she would write her autobiography so we could understand and appreciate her more.

Pictures from monsterandcritics.com after the jump (which if you’ve heard her album you may want consider doing off a very, very, very high ledge).



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Message from HM The Queen

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There now follows a message from HM The Queen. 


To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.

(You should look up ‘revocation’ in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. The letter ‘U’ will be reinstated in words such as ‘colour,’ ‘favour,’ ‘labour’ and ‘neighbour.’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise.’ Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up ‘vocabulary’).

2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ‘’like’ and ‘you know’ is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English.. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter ‘u’’ and the elimination of ‘-ize.’

3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can’t sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist,then you’re not ready to shoot grouse..

5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. Australian beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat’s Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one’s ears removed with a cheese grater.

11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies)..

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It’s been driving us mad.

14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty’s Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).

15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!



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The Becks eyes up cheerleaders. AGAIN!

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While the LA Lakers took on the Portland Trailblazers, it was David Beckham who really got a piece of the action. The football star was spotted in the front row gazing up the tumbling cheerleaders during the half time break.

In April, the Becks was caught sneering at a cheerleader at the same venue.

The Daily Mail has more.



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Tell your boss not to ban Facebook from work

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WORKERS addicted to websites such as Facebook, Bebo and MySpace could be in for some good news - a Brit think-tank has urged bosses not to ban social networking sites at work.

The report, conducted by a Brit-think-tank, says that the sites could actually benefit businesses by building relationships and closer links with colleagues and customers.

However, he said there should be practical guidelines to limit non-work usage.



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LIVE FOOTAGE: Police officers facing jail time for throwing and kicking their dogs

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Two police officers, Anja Mason and Craig Macleod, are facing jail after a concerned neighbour filmed the scene of abuse. The vedeo, now posted in YouTube depicts the two officers hitting and throwing the dogs across the lawn.

The two officers have pleaded guilty to causing unnecessary suffering to the 2 dogs, Tess, a collie pup, and Snoopy, a rottweiler.

A vedeo footage can be seen here.



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Smart, in uni, done playboy = smoking body

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How else can you put this. Corin studies hard. She gets good grades. She likes sports.

See her photos at this gallery.



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Top 10: Wussiest monsters in the movies

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Heres what not to wear for Holloween. Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors is on this list. Its also on my list of favourite movie creepies. Other creepy crawlies on this list are the aliens from the Signs.

In Signs, the audience discovers that the big bad-ass aliens who have been terrorizing everyone for the last 90 minutes by appearing on screen for a few measly seconds are fatally allergic to water. If even a drop touches their leathery skin, they shrivel up and die. Here on Earth, we call that shrinkage, so basically the aliens are just highly evolved, mutant enlarged penises.

Here are the rest of the top ten wussiest monsters in the movies.



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Today, anyone can become a billionaire

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Ever wonder how it is to be a billionaire? Want to see how it feels like to be one of the richest in the world? The answer is on your palm. This is not a scam. This can be yours for 3 eggs.

In Zimbabwe, an egg would cost you $35 billion. Thats because of the hyperinflation that is currently happening in the country, which forces them to issue high denominated currency.

If you think that the current economic crisis is something that has never happened in history before, you may be wrong! After the collapse of the agriculture sector in Zimbabwe in 2000, the inflation in that country skyrocketed to 231 million percent a year! Just think about it - 231 000 000%! Unemployment went up to 80% and a third of country’s population left it.

Here are some photos that you may not be able to see anywhere else in the world at: Wordmess

A boy getting change in 200 000 dollar notes!
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Zimbabwe could be the richest billionaires in the world…



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10 easy ways to get more traffic on your site

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Here is a quick list of things you can do to get traffic on your site:

1) Get an account with blog social networks like Blog Catalog or Blog Log. Let your friends, family, and colleagues know about this. Add other bloggers to your network, make friends and visit their blogs. Make sure to leave supportive and intelligent comments. Make sure you link back to your blog.

2) Get listed in blog directories. An extensive list can be found here.

3) Subscribe to feedburner to obtain an RSS feed for others to subsribe to.

4) Use ping servers like Ping-o-Matic or Pingoat to ping a list of blog directories automatically. Do this whenever you publich fresh content to update the blog directories. However, refrain from doing this every 2-3 minutes (I would give it 5-10), otherwise expect to be banned.

5) Join MyYahoo and iGoogle. Add your content to the RSS feed.

6) When you send emails out, make sure you have a link to your site / blog in your email signature.

7) Request other sites / blogs for link exchanges. This means the will allow you to put a link on their website, if you do the same for theirs.

8) Advertise your blog / site on your business card, flyers, brochures.

9) Get familiar with social bookmarking services like Digg or Delicious and get others to favourite your entries.

10) Get on StumbleUpon and start stubmling other websites and entries of yours.



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Halloween approaching

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It’s that time of the year again!
When kids have an excuse to eat sweets all day everyday for the next 6 months, and women of all shapes and sizes, young and old have an excuse to dress slutty and flirt with Count Dracula.

This year i can’t wait to dress up as the infamous villain, The Joker, of Batman fame. I’ve got the purple jacket but i’m having difficulty finding the facepaint.
Facepaint is offically sold out everywhere! them darn kids....beat me to it.



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Worlds fattest man gets married!

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Worlds heaviest man in the 2007 Guinness Book of Records Manuel Uribe gets married to Claudia Solis in his hometown of Monterrey, Mexico.

Widow who lost husband to obesity set to marry world’s fattest man.

Claudia Solis, who weighs 130lbs, lost her husband four years ago when he died from complications from his obesity - he weighed 550lbs. But through him she met Manuel Uribe - once the world’s fattest man at 1230lbs - and now, despite the fact he remains bed-bound at 700lbs, they are going to marry in an unusual ceremony in their hometown of Monterrey, in Mexico.



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Alicia Douvall on my £1m breasts

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According to a TV host, Gok Wan, Alicia Douvall told him that she was addicted to surgery and has since had her melons operated on since she was 17. Ther operations have taken Alicia from a size AA to FF and amounts to an approximate cost of £1m.

I would never immagine spending £1m on headlights on my baby. Im talking about the porsche thats parked outside, by the way. Well, if you’ve got enough money to spend like that on your slap-happies then you have more money than sense. Does plastic surgery actually look good? If any woman would have to get their milk factories done, I’d suggest getting them right at close to natural C cups, and not double-inflated D’s, any day.

I reckon, even Amy Winehouse would be like “Dayuuum, you ugly!”.



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Male TV character of the year: Ari Gold

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If there was such an award, my vote over and over again would go to Ari Gold, from the TV show, The Entourage. The reasons why we think so, besides winning our “Bastard of the Week” award and wanting someone like him as our agent, is that hes got the balls. By that we mean, hes got the bull by the balls.

Fists of fury

Some of our favourite quotes and a vedeo that comes with it:

Real Men’s Car
Adam Davies: Wow, nice car Ari!
Ari: Aniversary gift from the wife, thanks Davies.
Adam Davies: Oh, that’s right. I forgot you married into money. Good for you Ari, good for you.
Ari: We only use our money for the small stuff. You know, someday when you’re done sucking on Terrence’s tit you might get yourself a real men’s car like this.

Josh Winefuck
Ari: You know what other class I took at Harvard? Business ethics. I don’t steal other people’s motherfucking clients. But in YOUR case, I am going to make an exception! I’m going to take everyone! Your B-level sitcom stars, your reality-TV writers. When I’m done with you you’ll be repping sideshow freaks. You need jojo the dog faced bitch boy, call Josh Winefuck. The lightweight penstealing fuck face. (Takes a sip of Josh’ drink) That’s awful.

If he’s not classic, I dont know what is.



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Yipes! Katie Holmes looks exhausted!

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On time for Halloween, Katie Holmes, puts on the right look! Ok, lets not be shallow.

The former Dawson’s Creek star performed long hours of theatre work and rehearsals after her debut for the Arthur Miller’s All My Sons, Broadway play. The photos seem to show the 29-year-old dressed in black and looking worned out.

The play has received outstanding reviews so far and has already become the highest grossing play on Broadway, bringing in $ 684,000.



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Introducing the biggest lender in the world

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Numbers cant lie! In fact, according to the latest figures from the CIA World Factbook, the US has the biggest national debt.  It currently stands at more than $12 trillion. Such level of debt constitutes 24% of the world’s total debt!

1.World $ 51,780,000,000,000 2004 est.
2. United States $ 12,250,000,000,000
3. United Kingdom $ 10,450,000,000,000
4. Germany $ 4,489,000,000,000
5. France $ 4,396,000,000,000
6. Netherlands $ 2,277,000,000,000
7. Ireland $ 1,841,000,000,000
8. Japan $ 1,492,000,000,000
9. Switzerland $ 1,340,000,000,000
10. Belgium $ 1,313,000,000,000
11. Spain $ 1,084,000,000,000
12. Italy $ 996,300,000,000



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Joke of the day: Three men at a bar

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Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences.
The first man said, “my wife was reading a “tale of two cities” and she gave birth to twins”
“That’s funny”, the second man remarked, “my wife was reading ‘the three musketeers’ and she gave birth to triplets”
The third man shouted, “Good God, I have to rush home!”
When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, “When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali baba and the forty Thieves”!!!



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The Gumball 2008 in San Francisco

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For anyone who doesnt know what this is. Its a big adventure comprising of 120 cars, 3000 miles (5000 km), across 2 continents in 8 days! Yea you got that right, 8 days. So how on Earth can you do this in 8 days? Fast cars, baby!

Contestants have been thrown hefty fines for speeding and other traffic offenses by police from in countries they drive through, in 2007 a participating car was involved in a fatal crash with a non-participating vehicle, at least a few cars have been confiscated (hopefully none stolen), the organisers have made it clear that this event is a rally and not a race. However, some have referred it as a street race.

Ain’t nothing too fast and too furious in this rally!

This year, the start line for the Gumball Rally was held on August, in San Francisco. Registration fee was £ 60,000 ($ 120,000 USD). Celebrities that appeared this year are:

Celebrities officially confirmed this year include:

David Hasselhoff - former star of Baywatch and Knight Rider
Rob Dyrdek - skater and star of MTV’s Rob & Big
Alfonso Ribeiro - Actor best known as Carlton Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air
Tyson Beckford - Actor and model
Joel McHale - Presenter of The Soup on E Channel
Pete Wentz - Musician with band Fall Out Boy
Jermaine Dupri - Rapper / Producer
and more ...

List of cars that were in the rally were: Ferrari, BMW, Lamborghini, Porsche, Jaguar, and many more.

This is the real amazing race. Got a turbo-charged car? Ill see you there, in 2009, with my yellow tinted Porsche!



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Top 3 Halloween horror movies that will give you nightmares

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Halloween has passed, but for those still under the Halloween spell, hangover or still wearing their costume. You cant have had a Halloween without a horror movie on. So grab one of these DVD’s and some popcorn. Here is our top-3 Halloween horror movies that will definitely make you wet your pants.

1). The Exorcist
imageA classic on its own. Every horror fan should have a copy on the shelf. This could possibly be the only American made horror movie worth spending a buck on. Its not your typical hack and slash or somebody going mad with a chainsaw movie, the story-line is actually interesting enough to see it through the end. For those living in the cave for the last 24 years, the plot is about a girl who is possessed by an unknown entity who claims to be the devil himself ("Now kindly undo these straps!"). The movie won 2 Oscars and was candidate to 14 other nominations.

2). The Ring (Ringu, Japanese version!)
imagePossibly the movie that influenced other horror Asian movies to be known. In fact, it was so good, the Amercans, came up with their own derivative. The American version wasnt bad (considering how sloppy their other horror movies can get), but the Japanese original was even more intensifying. What distinguishes The Ring from other horror movies, the scary moments or scenes are displayed on an unhurried pace accompanied by an eery background music. These scenes can last up to a minute or two, keeping the audience on their toes. Moreover, the movie is compiled with perplexing images that keep you at an awkward curiousity. For example, the film depicts a woman in front of a mirror looking at the camera. So, she’s also looking at the viewer. Other seemingly maladjusted images include, the chair, lighthouse, a figure at the window, and more.

3). The Eye (Gin Gwai, Hong Kong version)
imageHow can you believe your eyes when theyre not yours? This is the tagline of the movie. This movie is about a blind girl who gets a cornea transplant and is able to see again. However, she sees more than she is supposed to. Following her recovery from the surgery, she realizes that she is seeing dead people. The first scene alone will leave you with shivers. Its the part where the blind girl is walking in the hallway and sees something she shouldnt. The Eye has much of the same with The Sixth Sense and The Others but goes well beyond.

Others that have fell short from our list, but highly worth recommending are: The Shining, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, Shutter, The Eye, IT, The Grudge (Ju-On), Alone, A Tale of Two Sisters, The Sixth Sense, Dawn of the Dead, 28 Days Later, Signs, The Happening, Audition, The Others



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Top 10 ways to piss someone off. GUARANTEED!

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1). Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
2). Practice making fax and modem noises.
3). Staple pages in the middle of the page.
4). Ask people what gender they are.
5). Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
6). Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”
7). If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
8). Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
9). Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
10). Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”



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Funny collection of fruit and vegetable photos

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Ever wonder what else you can do with your vitamin A’s and C’s? Why not cut them up into art, show them off and then eat them.

Be wise and stick with your mommas advice: Dont play with your food!

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See all the artistic fruit and vegetable photos.



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Is the time bomb passing: Credit Default Swaps?

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Recent news reports and data on CDS seem to suggest that banks and securities dealers may be getting a handle on the situation.

Tick. Tick. Tick. That’s the sound of the credit-default-swap time bomb counting down to financial Armageddon, if the critics of the now-famous financial derivatives are to be believed. Designed to insure bondholders against losses from issuer defaults, credit default swaps have been largely invisible, untraceable, and unchecked for nearly three decades.

The Business Week has more.



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The World Beard and Moustache Championships

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Alaska, City of Anchorage, will roll out the The World Beard and Moustache Championships (WBMC) where anyone will bear witness to the elite-most of bearded men. The last WBMC was held in Brighton, England in September 2007. There were 252 hirsute competitors who competed in seventeen separate categories. Hmmm, categories? How hairier can one get?

The event will also have a band from the Australian beard team called The Beards, to play “songs about beards, for people with beards” at the Friday night opening party. Well, who would have thought.

If you have got a beard, really hairy and have been living in a cave for the last century. Now is the time to come out and represent yourself. Dont forget to bring your caveman club. Expect to see lots of beer and possibly a few women.

One thing contestants should not do, is drink a cup of milk.

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Visit the whole gallery.



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Every rose colour has a meaning

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Next time you take your bird (woman) out on a date, think twice about the colour of the flower you are giving her. Last thing you would want to do is send the wrong message.

image A white rose is a symbol of purity, innocence, sympathy, spirituality. The color white in a flower, especially in a rose, symbolizes new beginnings, or be a sign for a good farewell. They can convey feelings of friendship, feelings of love and hope.

image A red rose says “I love you”, and also stand for three important things: deep love, affection and great respect. This colour expresses the throbbing heat of newfound love and inimate expression of attraction. Red is the colour of consummation, of raging desires and craving passion.

“0, my love is like a red, red rose, that’s newly sprung in June. - Robert Burns”

image An orange rose came to be regarded as a symbol of desire and enthusiasm. A sign of emerging romantic feelings and the desire to cross a relationship beyond the stage of friendship. Being a mixture of yellow and red, orange roses were often seen as a bridge between feelings of friendship (yellow), and love (red). Orange roses have also become quite popular as Halloween flowers.

image A yellow rose expressed joy, gladness, friendship and “I Care”. Its primary significance are friendship, happiness and get well. Unlike the red rose, a yellow rose is purely symbol for friendship.

image A peach rose meant appreciation, admiration and gratitude. This colour can also convey friendship and sociability. “Lets get together”

image A pink rose connote joy and happiness. These types of roses enjoy their own unique position representing refinement and elegance, as well as communicating thanks. Any recipient of these would surely feel appreciated and special.



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Beach Volleyball Classic Weymouth Dorset in England

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The Weymouth event is the most prestigous event in British Beach Volleyball and will attract all the top British players as well as teams from Europe and USA.

Its a sunny afternoon here and what better to sit back and lay on the beach. I dont know what it is about beach volleyball and women. Theres seems to be something that captivates a ton of men to these events.

Heres a gallery. Try as hard as you can to see the hand signals and stay focused on the ball. Hubba, hubba. Perhaps you can catch what I mean.



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Katie Price and her huge fun bags

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Katie Price, professionally known as Jordan, is a former former English glamour model, magazine, television personality, singer, writer and business woman. Although appearing on well established glamour and lifestyle magazines, this hot momma was still unhappy about the size of her love apples, believing that a do on her bazookas would make her more appealing. Jordan went from increasing her cup size from B to a D. Good job!

Pictured with her hubby, Peter Andre. Both are seen coming out at the Ivy on Robertson in Los Angeles. After lunch Katie went shopping at Kitson’s and the Beverly Center. I personally find her honkers looking quite juicy in this top.

I would rather have a day at the water park with these two than the Beckhams! 



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Babe v Babe: Biker versus roller babes

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This November we have got four babes. Two on a bike, and the other 2 on roller skates. Vote on which one is hotter.



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Frozen mice cloned from the dead!

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Japanese researchers and scientists have cloned frozen mice preserved at minus 20C for 16 years.

After the experiment, the mice were asked about their experience and one replied, “It was cold, now I know how S. Stallone felt in the Demolution Man”.

The next day, the scientists decided to thaw a chicken and cook it. Nothing special here.

Now, if we can only put our heads together and revive a mammoth.



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Photos of Google’s office

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Ever wonder how Google’s office looks like? If your deal is to work at a company that offers plenty of free food, includes a slide, a chill-out aquarium, a firemans pole to get down to different floors and a games room, then get your CV into Google. The current office setting is informal and is not dictated from the top. Believe it or not, the slide is used every day by the staff.

I strongly believe and demand that all mult-national companies get rid of cubicles.

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Have a look at the whole gallery.



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The ultimate rejection letter

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Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16.  After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters.  With such a varied and promising field
of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time.  Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor
in your department this August.  I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen



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The 2008 most innappriate sports themed Halloween costumes

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Here is a Halloween costume recap of inappropriate sports-themed costumes, and as is customary with the world of idiots, alcohol and cameras - the people came through. Occasionally, I’ll come across one or two that,while inappropriate, I take a laugh to.

See the photos at Busted Coverage.



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The top 10 Chuck Norris facts

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Chuck Norris, a martial artist and action star who is known for his action role in the Walker Texax Ranger and other various screenplays. On every Chuck Norris show, I find it that this beef caravan will knock everyone out with his roundhouse kick, never dies, always prevails as the hero in the end. Heck, if you through Godzilla in the ring with him, I bet you, Chuck Norris would still come out victorious, and possibly without a scratch.

The top 10 Chuck Norris facts:

10) Spiderman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas
9) Chuck Norris created the giraffe he kicked a horse under his chin
8) Chuck Norris has a bigger fan club than Britney Spears
7) Chuck Norris makes onions cry
6) Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice
5) Chuck Norris can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property
4) If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, it will spell ‘Forever’
3) When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
2) Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card
1) Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits



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Obama closing in on poll victory!!

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The projection is based on the fact that the polls are numbered highly for Barack Obama, placing him on the sight of presidency, which, if prevails, will make him the 44th president of the United States. The Democratic Senator Barack Obama, won the electoral vote in two key battleground states: in Ohio and in Pennsylvania, a state that John McCain was targeting.

Out with the Bush administration and in with the Big O! In the next few hours, I will be screaming my head off, next to Oprah Winfrey!

The presidential election has been the most expensive in US history, costing $ 2.4bn



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Obama is President!

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Barack Obama has been elected the 44th president of the United States, opening a new chapter in the country’s history as the first African-American to hold the world’s most important job. Obama crossed the requisite threshold of 270 electoral votes to defeat Republican rival John McCain, when television networks projected him winning the state of California.

Bloomberg along with every other major news source is reporting Obama’s victory.

McCain, speaking to supporters in Phoenix, conceded the race and said he called his rival ``to congratulate him on being elected the next president.’’

``Senator Obama has achieved a great thing for himself and his country,’’ McCain said. He pledged to do ``all in my power’’ to assist him, and he urged his backers ``to find ways to come together’’ for the good of the country.

However, one early disappointment for Mr Obama, was that black voters made up just 13 per cent of all voters, only a narrow increase over 2004. The black vote was unchanged in Virginia, but up by five percentage points to 30 per cent in Georgia, a target state for Mr Obama.

Six out of 10 voters said in an Associated Press exit poll that the economy was the most important issue facing the country, a concern Mr Obama has made the centrepiece of his campaign.

Officials said the long queues and heavy early voting in more than 30 states pointed towards a turnout of between 130 million and 140 million people, up from 121 million four years ago, and 65 per cent of those registered.

This would represent the highest percentage turnout since 1908. Mr Obama’s campaign, which heavily outgunned Mr McCain’s in terms of the number of volunteers, fund-raising and enthusiasm had poured immense resources into registering new voters.

High turnout was a key sign that David Plouffe, Mr Obama’s campaign manager, had succeeded. Bet McCain wishes he had a brother who was Governor of Florida.



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Playing with money

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Now, correct me if I am wrong, but isn’t drawing on money notes illegal in some countries? Oh well, the guys at de-noted probably think otherwise. There a few clever ones I liked in this set, especially the one of the Spartan face on it. I think I may have seen the Joker one a few times around already. Its interesting to see what people do on their free time.

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View the whole gallery.



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12 trading tips to make you a better market trader

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1. Learn the Basics
Yes this is a simple one but it has to be said. A man in my position has the pleasure of talking to scores of newbie traders on a daily basis. If there is one thing I have learned it’s that most newbies forego the basic training and jump straight into the warzone. This is of course a fatal error, on their part, so if you’re a newbie LEARN THE DAMN BASICS!

2. You Won’t Get Rich Quick, Experience Makes You Rich
If you’re here to get rich quick you’re just a clueless tourist. Don’t be naive. Trading is all about experience. As is the case with any career, the longer you do it the more efficient you become. I am often asked “Nick, how did you make 90 pips when I only made 70 pips on the same trade?” It is all about experience. I have been trading for 5 years so I am an efficient trader. I see things that newbie’s don’t because I have the experience.

3. Experts Are a Joke
Listening to expert opinions is great right? Of course it is!
The problem with financial markets is that every newbie who’s had a good week thinks they are an expert. The other, more pathetic, type of expert is the 30-60 year old guy/girl, in a suit, who claims to be a professional trader yet begs you to buy their book. These people are usually failed traders who make money teaching other traders how to fail.

Review all the steps here



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Top 10 lame pick-up lines to use at a bar, that could work

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So you are at a bar, and a hot momma glances over at you. Not sure what message shes sending, you have got to bust a move. Here are the top-10 pick-up lines that could work. Heck, if you make her giggle, then you know its time to buy her a drink.

10) Can I borrow your phone number? I seem to have lost mine
9) Did somebody fart? Lets get outta here
8) Do you have a library card?’Cause I"d like to check you out
7) Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
6) People call me Paul, but you can call me tonight!
5) I would say God bless you but it looks like he already did
4) Excuse me, do you have a band-aid? Because I cut my knee when I fell for you
3) Well here I am. What are your other two wishes?
2) Hello there, can I have the time? I’d check my watch but I can’t take my eyes off you
1) You’ll do



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What are Sarah Palin’s future plans?

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Unsuccessful vice presidential contender Sarah Palin is still a very hot topic amongst us minions. What should become of the hockey mom?

One user, AliceCooper, is encouraging her to try but doesn’t really want her to succeed. He said: “She should run in 2012 - That way Obama is sure to get a second term.”

A user from The Sun suggests that the pitt bull in lipsticks should host her own Bear Grylls style show, “Where she goes out into the Alaskan wilderness to wrestle bears and show you how to cook them or something.”

Have your say here.



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South Carolina inmate sues World of Warcraft developer Blizzard

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Virtually Blind reports that South Carolina inmate Jonathan Lee Riches, who is currently serving time for wire fraud, has filed a motion against Blizzard, developer of World of Warcraft. 


‘Riches claims that Blizzard’s World of Warcraft:

...caused Riches mind to live in a virtual universe, where Riches explored the landscape committing identity theft and fighting cybermonster rival hacker gangs.  Riches was addicted to video games and lost touch with reality because of defendants.  This caused Riches to commit fraud to buy defendants video games.  Riches chose World of Warcraft over working a legit job. Riches mind became a living video game.’

Earlier this year he sued Rockstar Games over similar claims involving Grand Theft Auto IV.  Riches has, at various times, also sued George Bush, Michael Vick, National Public Radio, Barry Bonds, Plato, and the Eiffel Tower.

The Arizona court will likely find procedural grounds to dismiss this motion without considering the claims on the merits. Makes you wonder whether computer games create nut jobs, or nut jobs play computer games.



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Classical opera performers stripping naked as calendar girls

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Someone in the ROH (Royal Opera House) must have seen Calendar Girls a dozen times and decided to the girls at the ROH got their bit of attention too.

We’re more used to the idea of getting dressed up to go to the opera - so it comes as quite a surprise to see the stage at the distinguished Royal Opera House populated by men and women in the buff.

Male and female artists as well as backstage staff at the opera house have stripped naked to pose for a calendar to raise money for Macmillan Cancer Support.

The calendar will sell for £ and can be purchased online or at the ROH. All purchases will go to the Macmillan Cancer Support

View the rest of the calendar photos here.



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Obama and McCain bikini splash-down cat fight

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Well, the elections over. I’m sure there isn’t a bozo who just woke up today and realised their new president. This has to be the biggest news in the world, at least this is how it seems. I switch on my TV and bam, all I hear are Obama and McCain. I don’t think there is a single person who missed it. Anyways for those who are still in the Obama - McCain muddle. I’ve got got some hot bikini women to join you. Here’s the vedeo.

Premise of video: Two chicks wearing bikinis get into a pool and are supposed to act like one supports McCain and the other is for Obama. We aren’t fooled by the Obama supporter. She is way too good looking and doesn’t have “Butches For Barry” tattooed in the tramp stamp region.

Climax of video: They start splashing each other and we hit the pause button at least 10 times in a row for screenshots.
Conclusion: Tops never come off rendering this one useless except on election day.



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Obama’s win has nothing to do on race

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If you’re one of the couple hundred million Americans who watched the presidential election coverage last night then you all know that Barack Obama basically won by a landslide. Now I was watching CNN for most of the evening and one of their big topics discussed was whether or not Barack’s lead had to do with his race or not.

I don’t think most of the people who voted for Obama even considered his race to be an issue at all. The fucking media turned it into a racial war and made things out to be way worse than anything else if you ask me.

Blimey, I’ve been hearing this on the media every minute. Common people, it ain’t about race! The media seems to be putting it this way, though. Obama won it the way he should have. It has nothing to do with cultural differences and I’m glad I share the same opinion as others. I’ve been reading about the same thing on other websites, including this one



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Tree living fungus could be used as green energy

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Its always good to hear how science can find ways around things. In this one, researchers have discovered a possible method to swap diesel with bio-energy.

A tree-living fungus that manufactures diesel fuel has been discovered in South America.

The fungus, which lives inside the Ulmo tree in the Patagonian rainforest, naturally produces hydrocarbon fuel similar to the diesel used in cars and trucks.

The scientists believe that the fungi, found all over the rainforest, may have contributed to the formation of fossil fuels.

Hopefully, this alternative source of energy will not mean the deforestation of rain forests. 



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Facebook more popular than the BBC

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Seems like